Nathanael Judah's Story.

(May 27th 2007)

Right, so, the details…

I first started with meaningful contractions at about 5am on Saturday morning and was at that point pretty certain I would have the baby by late afternoon, but although the pains were fairly regular they never really got any closer together or any stronger for most of the day. After lunch we went out for a pretty long walk to try and encourage things along, which perhaps it did a little, but still nothing very exciting was happening. Strangely enough this labour seemed to be more effective when I was lying on the sofa than when I was walking around - dunno why! So we pottered through the day and things gradually looked more serious, but I think I had it in my head that I needed to be able to be more peaceful to concentrate on labour. And strangely, as soon as all the kids were in bed (about 8.30pm) things really hotted up and by 9.30 I got Paul to ring the labour ward to say I would be needing someone to come out and assess me soon. The senior midwife on duty is someone I know well from previous babies and I spoke to her (SC) - in between contractions - who explained there was simply no way she could spare two midwives out to a homebirth as the Labour ward was over-run that night. She was really apologetic and said she would accommodate me whatever way she could and that I could go straight home from the Labour ward - whatever time that was. She even agreed to let me bring some children in with me if I wanted to (really not hospital policy).

So I gathered some bits together and off we trotted. Ironically this time I hadn't packed a 'grab it' bag - just didn't think I would need it as it's always been a waste of time in the past - so that took us a little while. I've never done a car journey in labour before - didn't like it! We arrived at the hospital at about 10.15 and I wondered whether things might take a while to get going again, but they didn't really so that was good. The midwife that met us at the door was probably one of the most irritating people I have encountered and when she put her arm around me to guide me to my room I was not amused! She failed to tell us her name, but presumed to make physical contact with me. I pushed her hand off and when I had chance muttered to Paul that she was going to drive me crazy! She was not impressed when we said that we were going back for the kids, but when we said that SC had approved it she back tracked and disappeared! Fortunately SC must have seen my face and knowing me well the next face I saw was a different midwife (F) and she was FANTASTIC! She was willing to accommodate me and bend over backwards to make things good for me.

When she examined me - about ¾ hr later - I was a good 5cms, but she seemed to think things would be a little while yet. "still thick and long though. Baby's head is still high - I can push it almost out of your pelvis! Membranes bulging, but the head's too high to break them." - which I didn't want anyway, but I knew she was wrong about the 'a while yet' ! The contractions kicked in hard then (as I knew they would after an exam') and it was not long at all before my waters went. There was meconium in the water (that was first for me) but not heavy. F said that she 'should' put a monitor on because of the mec', but I said that baby would be here in 20 minutes. If he/she wasn't out in half hour I'd let her put a monitor on. She was happy with that and as baby's heart beat was happy and he was still squirming around I knew he was OK J Of course, he was out in no time (about 4 or 5 contractions I think) - and arrived very happy, not loud, but happy J , all 9lb 6oz of him - followed by a positive flood of water - if I hadn't been on all fours he'd have drowned, but as it was he just had a thorough wash! The midwife passed him through to me and we cuddled up for a bit while we waited for the placenta. The HCA who was there took Nathanael and gave him a 'good rub' - I had to stop her before she rubbed his skin off - she was rubbing him clean and dry with those horrible starchy hospital towels! I asked her to stop because I hated it! I wanted him wrapped in our soft towel - we had taken them with us so Paul got one out and we wrapped him in that instead - much better! And that was that really!

I was up, bathed and discharged in a couple of hours. We arrived home by 2.15am when we woke the children to see if they wanted to come and meet their new brother. The boys came down first and then the girls. Jake thought that I was joking when I said we had been into hospital to have him but when he saw the unopened birth kit he realised I wasn't ;-) So after they'd all had a cuddle we packed them all back to bed and snuggled down for the night with our newest son.

Caleb's Story

For those of you who like the in and outs of birth stories here is Caleb's (born June 11th 2005).

If you read my blog you'll know that after the midwife came to give me a sweep on Friday afternoon my up-til-then ignorable and irregular contractions became a little more meaningful and they continued to do so all afternoon and evening. I stayed up until about 2am waiting for them to kick in to real labour, but then gave up and decided to go to bed. The irregular contractions continued, and they were enough to disturb me every 10-20 minutes from my sleep, until at 4.38am I had a big one that made me think I might have to call the m/w soon. At 4.48 (exactly 10 minutes later) I had another big one and a 'feeling' that felt like the baby's head dropping into my pelvis (although I was lying down) accompanied by a 'pop' - and yes, you guessed it, my waters were gone! Now, you must understand that for me this was highly unusual. For the last 5 births my waters have gone around the 6cm mark when I have been in well established labour, and for the last 4 births the baby has been in my arms within 20 minutes! So, as you can imagine I was a little paniced. I gave Paul a sharp nudge and told him to call the midwife and tell her to be quick!

10 minutes later I had two midwives here, but my contractions were not coming fast and furiously like I had anticipated they would, but on the contrary, they were short and sharp and only about every 5 minutes. I was a bit thrown to be honest and when the midwives asked me whether I thought they should stay or not I really did not know what to say. I did explain that this was quite different to my other labours and that I was a bit thrown by the fact my waters had gone so early. They decided to wait an hour and see how I went. One of the m/w examined me and said I was only about 2-3 cms, but that I easily stretched to a good 4cms. My thinking went along the lines of ; "well I would, being that this was my 6th baby and really that is not very relevant to much at all. I dilate fast once I get going and this is likely to set things ticking a bit faster." I told them I thought the examination would trigger things a bit and I was right :)

A little while later my contractions were stronger, but not much longer (thankfully) and I could tell that baby was beginning to push his way through. I tried to describe everything I was feeling to the midwives so that they too would some idea of where I was at. They were quite impressed I think, with how 'graphic' I was able to be - I always have been able to 'visualise' the process and as they seemed so unsure of what to do (i.e. whether to stay or not)I wanted them to too!!

By 7.30am I was beginning to push a little and at one point had a fantastic contraction that felt like - given another couple like that - I would have the baby in my arms in no time. I told the m/w what I was thinking and she prepared to catch. But unfortunatly I had to wait a while for the next contraction and when it came it wasn't so good, so Caleb crept back a little. Then for some reason I had to wait what seemed like ages again (although was probably only a couple of minutes) for the contractions to become more effective again and I fought off the odd few because I was experiencing excruciating pain in my inner-hip-sockets (best way to describe it) which was really distracting me from the job in hand! By quarter to 8 I had four midwives in the room - two going off duty and two taking over (it's also worth noting here that also in the room were 3 of my children and Paul, so 9 of us in all - quite a party!!). I think the two midwives going off were slightly disappointed not to catch the baby, but also glad, as they still had to go back to the hospital to write up a birth from earlier in the evening and at least my not having given birh yet saved them having to write up two!! The midwife taking over was one I knew from clinic, which was nice, and she was very good. Because of the pain in my hips she suggested I try standing down on the floor and sitting on Paul's lap, so that he could support me (up to this point I was leaning over my giant exercise ball, kind of semi-squatting on all fours). I liked the idea, but then when I tried it I hated it. I seemed to 'lose touch' with myself very quickly and within two pains I was back on the bed, but this time very much more squatting - right back on my haunches and pushing hard!! C. (m/w) decided to quickly 'see' where I was at and told me I was only 8cms and needed a few more contractions - "just get through them as best as you can." Me being me - I thought "tosh!" and pushed anyway! Next contraction the head crowned (with me still sat right back on my haunches despite C's requests for me to try an lean over a little - I don't think she could see a thing poor woman!) and then within seconds I had a baby laying on the bed behind me - at 8am exactly! C. passed him through, but I found that I was crying (my hips really had hurt Soooo much) and I wasn't quite ready to receive him. I did take him, but it took me a minute or two to gather my senses enough to adore him. C. said to me; "You weren't having any of that 8cms business were you?! You just pushed straight through it!!" - "Absolutely" was my reply; "I knew I could with it being number six and that's what I think I've done every time so far anyway!!"

To be honest, this time I think the pain in my hips far out weighed the actual pain of the birth itself. Perhaps I am just so 'used' to giving birth now and know so well what to expect that I actually don't consider that to be too painful anymore. But the agony in my hips was almost unbearable, to the point that at times I really did not know what to do with myself. The only slight relief I could get from it was to crouch well back and dig my hands into my inner hips. If I ever get pregnant again (which is not completely beyond a possibility ;) !) I just pray I don't get that hip pain again. The birth itself I can handle!

Joel, Abbie and Phoebe saw the whole thing :) Abbie thinks it was funny, Joel is completely fascinated by the whole process and Phoebe is a cool cucumber who has said little about it all, but seems completely unphased! Jacob decided he didn't want to watch ("too much mess and blood!", but he was about and came in the room shortly after Caleb made his entrance to meet him. Ellie slept until about 8.10, which was perfect and when Daddy brought her into our room I was sat on a potty holding Caleb to my breast, waiting for the placenta to come. The other children were oggling him and the two midwives were gloved and 'meddling'. She was a bit bemused to say the least. Not the usual scene in our room when she wakes up! But it didn't take her long to spot the new baby and she seems to have managed to put two and two together quite well (no more patting my belly saying "'baby").

Jacob's story

This is an exact copy of what I wrote 13 days after Jacob was born;

Thursday. 15.5.97
I thought I'd take this opportunity (while Jacob is sleeping!) to record some of my own thought and feelings about my son's birth and these first two weeks with him - amazing - it's two weeks already!
When my contractions started abruptly at 2.00am on May 1st, they felt very different to all the practice runs and I had an immediate feeling that this was 'the real thing,' but I chose not to wake Paul 'til I was really sure. However two hours later of regular contractions every 5 mins I was really sure and wanting some company. They were totally manageable at this point and I was really quite excited. At 04.45 we decided to go for a walk around the block and drop some mail through Ruth's door (that's my sister-in-law). An hour later we returned home. The walking definitely made the contractions stronger as did regular cups of Raspberry Leaf tea - and also kept things going because every now and then things seemed to 'lull' for a while. At 06.40 we decided to page Georgina (my friend & midwife)and let her know that things were rolling - and let her decide what time to call Sarah as she would have a better idea what time to disturb her. Sarah rang me back shortly after and made a 'plan of action.' I knew then they would be with me around 4pm(ish) and by that time I was feeling like I wanted them around! The contractions seemed to step up in 'ferocity' in stages and then plateau for a while. At the start of each stage I'd loose my grip for a while , but Paul kept encouraging me. I stayed focused and every time I regained control. When Sarah rang at 4pm and said they would be here by six I was really glad. I wanted to know what was doing and Paul's attempts at V.E's were to little avail. I felt unable to do my own. I was beginning to need something more than the TENS machine but didn't want to start on the entinox too soon if nothing much was really happening internally yet.
At 6pm when Sarah & Georgina arrived the contractions seemed to strangely 'lull' again for a while - I felt a bit of a fraud! But they soon kicked in again - at another level! When Sarah did a VE and found me to be only 3cms dilated I thought we were really in for the long haul, but didn't allow myself to get disappointed. I told myself "my body will work it's stuff in it's own good time" - held onto that and kept going. Everyone was brilliant - really encouraging me and keeping me going. We laughed a bit, had something to eat, listened to some music, while I stomped around and hung onto things! Sarah & Paul even went shopping for supplies! I can honestly say I really enjoyed this bit of my labour. Things hotted up a bit then and I felt like trying the bath again. (right at the beginning it had been uncomfortable and slowed things down so I'd been reluctant up till now to try it again). We lit candles and I soaked in lavender oil - just like I'd planned it to be. It was dark by now and I was glad it was going to be a night-time birth. For a while the bath really helped me relax, especially between contractions, but at some stage it stepped up again. I wanted to know I was making progress and so I asked Georgie to do another VE (Sarah & Paul were asleep at this point) and asked for Paul to come and be with me again. When I found I was only 6cm I was a little surprised, but determined not to get disappointed still. I remember Paul saying "It won't be long now" and responding "Don't say that - you can't be sure!" But the next contraction was miles stronger. I think I gave a sort of push and my water went - clear! That was a huge weight off my mind. I didn't realise how much that had concerned me 'till I saw it was clear! And then I pee'd and felt the baby's head move down in my pelvis - then I knew it wouldn't be long!
From then on I was somewhere else - hardly in control - dancing in the bath trying to keep myself in he water as that did make a difference. The contractions came almost incessantly and I could feel liquor draining from me with each one and the baby moving down, down and then under. Everyone lifted me out of the bath - it was too small for me now. I got down on all fours on the floor - as I had always know I would and I was pushing the baby out. The only pain I was aware of now was that burning, stretching! I felt myself tear inside - it frightened me a little, but the sensations were so strong I could not hold back. I consciously made myself open my eyes and look at Paul as he & I blew away the contractions to slow things as Jacob's head was born. I felt it slide out, looked and reached through to touch him. Then there seemed a long pause. Paul was at my tether end ready to catch our child as I pushed him into the world. Then it came and out he came - all but his bum, which I had to make a conscious effort to push out! I grabbed him up and held him tightly to me. The midwife in me said "tip his head down," but I wanted to see his face! I proclaimed him "a boy" and let him suckle my breast. He just looked at me - all pink and glowing. He was blonde and SO clean - I've never seen such a clean baby. His cord stopped pulsating almost immediately - I felt it to be sure, but we waited for the placenta before Paul cut it. Jacob's first feed lasted for nearly an hour and then he slept til 6am. By now 'Granny' was asleep in the nursery having arrived around 4am and was thrilled with her grandson!
....Jacob is a great baby. He is so strong and healthy. He holds his head well, looks around all the time and has the most beautiful smile (just when he's full!). We love him dearly and are looking forward to a long hot summer of walks and adventures - discovering each other as a family.
I'd also like to add that through this whole experience of labour, birth and now parenthood Paul & I 're-discovered' each other in a very special way and perhaps found out something about ourselves that we didn't know before. Our relationship, not just because of Jacob, but through Jacob and his birth has taken on a whole new meaning and dimention to both of us. Jacob's birth was truly 'spiritual' for us all. And now we need God's guidance and presence in our home to see us through all the joys and tough times ahead of us.
I want also to say what a difference I believe having two of my close friends as my midwives has made. They have truly been both fantastic friends and are superb midwives. They were really 'with' me all the way and we as a family are eternally grateful to them. I wish that all women could receive the kind of care that I have been priviledged to know and I am certain my own experiences will greatly benefit those women for whom I am that 'midwife' in the future. They have taught me a great deal.
Thankyou Georgina and Sarah.


Just a 7 year post-script!
From when my waters went (at 00.05) to Jacob's birth was just 1 hour (01.08) and just another 10mins for the placenta to be out. All naturally with no analgesia (not even entinox in the end), or drugs. Our bodies are AMAZING!
Jacob was also born at the 'dawn' of a labour government. My midwife wrote; "it's a landslide - Hooray we have a new government - about time too - and what a wonderful new era to join - Welcome Jacob!" We wondered if he might have been the first Labour-born baby of 1997! (also gives a whole different perspective on the word 'labour!' :)